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”Husband texts back;“Gently pour some lukewarm water over it.”Wife texts back 5 minutes later;“Computer really fucked now.”A Greek and Italian were sitting in a Starbuck’s one day discussing who had the superior culture.Over triple lattes the Greek guy says, “Well, we have the Parthenon.”Arching his eyebrows, the Italian replies, “We have the Coliseum.”The Greek retorts, “We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics”The Italian, nodding agreement, says, “But we built the Roman Empire.”And so on and so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion.With a flourish of finality he says, “We invented sex!”The Italian replies, “That is true, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women.”A photographer on vacation was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read‘$10,000 per call’.The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for.The priest. One day in phys Ed we were playing flag football, ( mandatory requirement if I wanted to get my diploma.) We all had on the full football gear but with flags on our side. It was supposed to be non contact. The game was going good, red was winning by two tds. I was riding the blue team's bench. I'm pretty small for the game at 5’5” tall and 136 lbs. Tim Burns was having trouble in the game, cramps in his legs so coach pulled him. Simmons, get in there for Burns the coach yelled. I thought he was joking for a moment, then he turned to me and said get your​ skinny little ass in there Simmons. I jumped up and started to run onto the field when he yelled my name again. I spun around to see him holding a helmet in the air. Embarrassed I ran back and retrieved it and put it on. For God's sake Simmons, don't get yourself killed out there. Thanks coach was all I said as I ran back to the field.Ok huddle up. Jim Half was the QB. He was calling the play. When he finished, I had no idea what to.
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